Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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