Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize