the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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