He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
