U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
