what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
