She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
