did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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