I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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