she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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