reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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