OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
