The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
