When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just want nice things and good sex
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
