Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize