so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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