By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
