Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
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She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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