rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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