Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
