He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
