So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
