Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
