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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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