I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
