That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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