so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
