What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
