btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize