I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
