I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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