How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
