there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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