she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
