so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
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It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
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I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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