i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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