You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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