dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I looked at my own cervix.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
