he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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