i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
