we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
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I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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