everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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