your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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