i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
