I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
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surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
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Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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