Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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