Someone shit on the floor
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
tell me about the fingering
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