I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
