Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
