All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
