It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
