He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
