just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
