u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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