Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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