yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
