Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
