MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
