:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
