WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Oh god it's open bar.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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