You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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