Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's just like the Real World with babies
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
