Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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